Behavioral Health Articles

The Stress of Caregiving

by Cindy Lewis, Contributing Writer

“I’m not sure who to talk to or what help is available to me...” a caller commented as she described her life as caregiver for her mother who has Alzheimer’s disease, parent for two school-age children, and full-time employee. She continued to express that she is often tired, irritable, and worried about how to meet the demands of each day.

This caller to the Area Agency on Aging is not alone in confronting the stresses that can accompany being a caregiver for a person who has a disability or chronic illness and who has needs for care. Caregiving impacts many families in the United States. It is estimated that one family in four is involved in the care of an older, frail loved one. The number of families who care for an adult under age 60 and children with disabilities is increasing as well. Caregiving is a common role often held by women in their 40’s or 50’s who have a family and a job. Caregiving also affects men and older adults who are caring for a spouse.

Caregivers express that the most difficult part of caregiving is emotional stress. When asked to describe caregiver stress the words that are mentioned include: burn out, fatigue, depression, loss of control, anger, anxiety and guilt. Stress can occur for a variety of reasons for a caregiver. The caller is both caring for her family and assisting her mother with housekeeping, grocery shopping, arranging for medical care, transportation, and managing bill paying and finances. Stress accompanies these demands on a caregiver’s time and energy.

Stress can occur when caregivers set high expectations of themselves that are difficult to achieve. There are occasions when caregivers need to let go of some of the tasks they had planned to complete for their carereceiver because there is not enough time or energy to complete them. Stress happens, too, when the carereceiver has high expectations for a caregiver’s help or perhaps puts subtle, or not so subtle, pressure on the caregiver to do things on his or her behalf. Another source of stress can be trying to handle caregiving alone. For some caregivers, there may be few or no family members available or willing to help.

It’s important to reflect on one’s approach to caregiving. For some, family and friends may offer assistance with caring for a loved one, but the primary caregiver does not accept offers of help. Sometimes stress occurs for caregivers when they don’t acknowledge that they are as equally deserving of care as the carereceiver is. One certainty is that the caregivers’ needs are as important as the needs of the person being cared for.

What can help caregivers to relieve the stress of caregiving?

• Practicing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing.
• Remembering the basics of caring for oneself by maintaining good nutrition, getting adequate sleep and exercise, and taking time for oneself.
• Learning as much about the carereceiver’s disease or disability. This will help with understanding and with responding to their behavior.
• Staying involved in activity that is important to oneself, particularly taking time for favorite leisure interests.
• Assessing oneself. Ask, "Am I reaching out for help and accepting it when it is offered?”
• Contacting the local Area Agency on Aging to find out about community services and programs to help. Attending a family caregiver support group can be very beneficial.

Some stress is inevitable for caregivers. But when caregivers resolve to meet their needs for time for themselves and utilize some of the tips for reducing stress, they are better able to provide care to another, to minimize stress, and regain a sense of satisfaction with life.

Cindy Lewis is Aging Services Coordinator for the Cortland County Area Agency on Aging.

May is Mental Health Month. The local Think Again! Group (TAG) is celebrating three years of working in the Cortland area to reduce the stigma associated with mental illness and to promote emotional and behavioral wellness. Look for our messages around the community. The next time you hear someone making incorrect statements about mental illness, suggest that they "Think Again."